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Nigerian marriage therapist Shamsseddin Giwa has stirred the pot with his candid advice for women considering entering polygamous marriages, cautioning them against the misguided notion that they can save their husbands from their first wives.
In a thought-provoking statement, Mr. Giwa pointed out that many women enter these unions with the illusion that they will be the solution to their partner’s problems, only to be shocked when they realize that the issues lie not with the first wives but with the men themselves.
Drawing from his own experience as a happily married man, Giwa emphasized that any woman venturing into polygyny should abandon the idea that she is the “special one” destined to change her husband’s behavior. His comments have ignited discussions on the realities of marriage dynamics, leaving many to wonder: if the first wives are not the problem, does that mean the real issue is simply a man’s inability to juggle multiple relationships without dropping the ball?
Below is what he wrote in a Facebook post on Thursday:
“The shock for many second wives begins when they get in and realise that contrary to what they expected or were told, the first wife is not a problem and she is even a positive force to be reckoned with in the marriage.
Inferiority complex triggers insecurity and now they feel it’s a competition.
Go into polygyny if you desire but don’t go in thinking you are the special one to save the husband from a bad first wife. Husband is fine and knows what he’s doing.”
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