The Sahara Group head honcho, Tonye Cole took to his FB page to write this:
Dear ,
What’s the price of a bride?
Arriving in Johannesburg OT international airport this morning, my heart bled once again for my beloved Nigeria as I took in the efficiently working and sparkling environment versus the creaking, ill-kempt broken infrastructure I left barely 6 hours ago. As all this ran through my head, a young man approached me politely asking if I’d filled out the requisite health form which I hadn’t. Once done he proceeded to assist me through immigration, baggage control and customs all the while chatting about his love and desire to visit Nigeria to see his ‘friends’, Flavour and P-Square. A casual question about family brought me to a screeching halt when he responded that all 32 years of him was a father of 4 boys from his childhood girlfriend, the oldest being 13 and youngest barely 1.
Dear ,
What’s the price of a bride?
Arriving in Johannesburg OT international airport this morning, my heart bled once again for my beloved Nigeria as I took in the efficiently working and sparkling environment versus the creaking, ill-kempt broken infrastructure I left barely 6 hours ago. As all this ran through my head, a young man approached me politely asking if I’d filled out the requisite health form which I hadn’t. Once done he proceeded to assist me through immigration, baggage control and customs all the while chatting about his love and desire to visit Nigeria to see his ‘friends’, Flavour and P-Square. A casual question about family brought me to a screeching halt when he responded that all 32 years of him was a father of 4 boys from his childhood girlfriend, the oldest being 13 and youngest barely 1.
Why, I asked him, don’t you simply get married and that was when the cost reality of getting married began to emerge. As a Zulu, he tells me, the dowry and sundry costs are overbearing to the point of leaving him in penury, made worse by ‘defiling’ their daughter and now with 4 children to boot. In making a decision between providing for his family or paying the bride price and penalties, he opted for the former. I have long been an advocate that weddings shouldn’t be designed to financially handicap the newly weds as is commonly experienced in Nigeria. It is senseless to borrow money and throw ‘befitting’ socially acceptable weddings only to struggle to pay the rent and bills the next day.
That got me pondering on how God viewed marriage? At what point would He consider a man and woman married in His eyes? Is it when a ceremony is conducted by clergy in the place of worship or maybe at the marriage registry? Might it be when done according to traditional rights or can it be as simple as both parties agreeing they are married, one to the other? Surely on earth we require a document to establish marriage legally but then does God seek the same? I lean towards the belief we are first married in God’s eyes as soon as we both agree to spend the rest of our lives together as husband and wife, long before we solemnize it with a ceremony of declaration for all to witness while our decision is sealed once we have sex. How much we have to pay to make this declaration should therefore be a matter of personal choice, besides, the value of a good wife is priceless.
Will you be valued by the cost of your wedding?
God bless you this day.
~Tonye Cole
That got me pondering on how God viewed marriage? At what point would He consider a man and woman married in His eyes? Is it when a ceremony is conducted by clergy in the place of worship or maybe at the marriage registry? Might it be when done according to traditional rights or can it be as simple as both parties agreeing they are married, one to the other? Surely on earth we require a document to establish marriage legally but then does God seek the same? I lean towards the belief we are first married in God’s eyes as soon as we both agree to spend the rest of our lives together as husband and wife, long before we solemnize it with a ceremony of declaration for all to witness while our decision is sealed once we have sex. How much we have to pay to make this declaration should therefore be a matter of personal choice, besides, the value of a good wife is priceless.
Will you be valued by the cost of your wedding?
God bless you this day.
~Tonye Cole
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