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“Before #Ebola I was Full Of Myself” – DR. Morris

 

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Life was going fine for Dr Ibeawuchi Morris of The First Consultant Hospital Lagos until he came face to face with a life-threatening situation; He was infected with the EBOLA virus in the course of his duty. The good news is that after going through that trauma he survived to tell his story. Unfortunately, many were not so lucky. Dr Morris opens up on his experience and the battle to survive.  – ROSELINE NYA
 
After having such a close shave with death, how do you see life now?
There’s a massive difference between who I was, before my Ebola experience, and who I am now. Prior to that, outside my professional life, I was full of myself; you could even call me proud and egotistical. Of course I’ve always attached value to life, but I just didn’t know its correct value, hence, I couldn’t attach the right value to it. And even though I’ve never been disposed to certain ill behavior and negative actions, I never took seriously the principle of accountability; I may not have been conscious of it, but I believed that I could do anything and get away with it. But after going through the valley of the shadow of death, humility, selflessness, accountability, charity, are some of the attitudes I have adopted. Now I am always conscious of the fact that our minds cannot conceive or contain the value of life; it is magnanimous.
When you first heard of the Ebola outbreak in other African countries, what was your response to the information?
I did not give any thought to it. I did not see Ebola as something I could come in contact with, therefore I was not prepared. I daresay, neither were you. The right people in government were not prepared either. Nobody was prepared, because if we were, the index case wouldn’t have been granted entrance into Nigeria, without the necessary precautions put in place.
What happened the day you came into contact with the index case. (Mr Sawyer)
It was just a normal workday of a Doctor. It had been a busy day. After attending to a patient, I was alerted of an emergency and because of the urgency of the alert; I thought I was going to see an unconscious patient or one in a very serious condition. That however wasn’t the case. The moment the patient, Patrick Sawyer; now deceased, saw me, he requested to be rehydrated. And I thought that was odd. I asked him to wait, that I needed to examine him first. I proceeded to take his details and realized that he was a Liberian. That rang a bell of caution in my ears, but I proceeded. I asked him when he got into Nigeria, he said a few hours earlier. So what happened to you? I asked; He said he had symptoms of malaria and had commenced treatment in Liberia but that the symptoms came back while he was at the conference, which brought him to Nigeria. Basically, most of the information he gave were lies, but I didn’t know that at the time.
We carried out series of tests and found traces of malaria and commenced  treatment while we waited for other test results to come in. By the time the other test results got to us, we had strong reasons to believe that he had been infected with the Ebola virus. A confirmatory test was needed to establish the fact and I was requested to go get his sample, since we had already had physical contact earlier. I went for the index case’ sample after much hesitation. I was afraid of being infected but duty called and I obeyed.
How did you feel knowing that Ebola Virus was contagious and deadly?
With my knowledge of the virus, I saw it all as a death warrant; it was as if  I had just been told that I would die in a few days. At first, I was in denial; I refused to accept that I had touched the index case. Then, I became a walking corpse; the fear of death killed me while I was still alive. I stopped “living” because I thought it was of no use, since I was going to die anyway. I slipped into an acute state of depression. I became tormented by regrets of what I should have done earlier, that I had postponed to a later date; you know, things like traveling to see my mom, and I couldn’t go while all of that was ongoing. I locked out the world and went to stay with a Doctor friend (after the authority had granted us leave) who put me through the worse teasing of my life. And even though I knew he was joking, I so much needed comfort, care and assurance such that his jokes only worsened my state.
How did your family respond to all of this?
At first most of them had no clue I was going through such an experience. It was only my elder brother with whom I had been living who knew. And he did all he could to help. He didn’t stop calling, praying and confessing healing and life for me. I was also praying and confessing (more like reciting) all the positive declarations I know, but dying was more real to me than those words coming to pass in my life. When my brother perceived that, he coerced me to go back to his house.
All these before the symptoms manifested?
Absolutely! It was after I got back to my brother’s house that I noticed a rise in my temperature and within a few hours, my health deteriorated, but I was determined to keep my family safe, so I was very aggressive to my brother’s children and prevented them from coming close to me; the adults only needed information to advise themselves.
And when the symptoms manifested?
I didn’t have time to think, wish or fear. The anguish was great! I was reduced to using diaper and potty. I soiled myself many times, both with faeces and vomit. We (that is, all those who were quarantined) were kept far away from the main facility of LUTH. And the state of the facility itself was sickening. Since there was no known treatment for the disease, our fate leaned more toward the negative than positive and we only had hope to cling unto. Medically, the only help we could be offered was constant rehydration, because one symptom of Ebola Virus is high body temperature, and high body temperature means dehydration, which in itself can lead to death. So, we were required to constantly take water. Aside from that, we just had to wait it out prayerfully; with the hope that our immune system would fight and overcome the Virus. It was a long and tough wait, because my physical conditions and news of others’ passing gave my family and I even more reasons to panic. At some point my family gave up hope because of how I was. Even the Doctor who was attending to me nearly gave up on me at some point, most especially on a particular night when he tried to rehydrate me and could not locate a single vein in my body. I never thought I would survive that ordeal. But I survived! I’m still trying to figure out how, but I can’t. The only explanation I have is the medical one, which is; my immune system fought and overcame it.
Did it leave you with some “scars”?
YES. I did battle insomnia, joint pains; especially in the mornings, and scaliness of the skin for some time. But it got better after some time.
How did you deal with stigmatisation?
It took a while for most people, even family members, to be comfortable around me but I completely understood how they felt. I would have been surprised if anyone who knew about the havoc the Virus caused didn’t shrink away from whatever would expose them to such illness. In fact, even now, there are people who haven’t completely gotten over it and cannot relax around me. I completely understand them too.
Has that experience birthed in you any new passion?
I have thought about taking up medical research, perhaps in the area, but I’m still processing it. However, that experience has ignited an interest for Public Health in me and I intend to delve into the area soon. As a matter of fact, I have taken actions to get some training and certifications in the area.

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