According to Bolanle Ninalowo, the internet seems endlessly obsessed with defining “a real man.” Strength. Provision. Protection. Presence. The list keeps growing — and the judgment keeps getting louder.
But his question cut through the noise.
If we’re constantly measuring men, why does the conversation rarely turn the mirror around?
What defines a real woman?
Not as an attack.
Not as competition.
But as balance.
Bolanle’s reflection wasn’t polished or diplomatic — it was raw. A reminder that masculinity and femininity don’t exist in isolation. That identity is relational. That, biologically and socially, every woman is made in part by a man, just as every man is shaped by women.
His words stirred discomfort — and that’s exactly why they landed. Because society is quick to demand standards from men while leaving the definition of womanhood vague, emotional, or conveniently untouched.
This wasn’t about blame.
It was about fairness in dialogue.
If we truly want healthier relationships, stronger families, and honest growth, then the conversation can’t remain one-directional. Responsibility must be shared. Definitions must be mutual. Respect must be reciprocal.
Because maturity isn’t asking “Who’s failing?”
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