The Fear That Somebody Else Would Raise My Children If I Sat In That Relationship Was The Scariest Thing For Me” – Adunni Ade

Jaiyeorie April 21, 2017

Adunni Ade in an interview with Motherhood In-Style Magazine shares more about her life,being a single mother, kids and career.

On why she is not with the father of her children

Well, I just had to make that decision though it took me a long time to realise or stop lying to myself that it was never going to work out even though I tried as much as I could. I just decided that what’s best for me is to walk away and still be here and be with my kids and still have the opportunity of being the best mother possible, so yeah, I had to make that decision.
It was really tough, it was really painful. I think that hurt me the most out of anything that I have ever been through in my life, walking away was the hardest thing to do.

On suffering from depression as a result of her failed relationship

I think the major thing that got me through was the fear that somebody else would raise my children if I sat in that relationship, that was the scariest thing for me, that my kids would see somebody else as their mother.
Depression is no joke. A lot of people in this country, Nigeria, don’t know want to admit that depression is an illness. People don’t know the extent to which it affects the mind.
Not a lot of people of people know this; in the past, I have tried to commit suicide because it was just too much, just too much for me but I guess God loves me enough to still.
I did take therapy once or twice a week, I think. I did that for quite a few years and pretty much just blocked everyone out.

Coping as a single mother in Nigeria
Well even before I moved back, I didn’t like placing myself in that ‘single mother’ status. I’m a parent. Yes, it takes two to become a parent but hey, when it’s one, let that one do the best they can. Now, how have I been able to cope in Nigeria? The same way I was able to cope in the States. If I had experienced those things in Nigeria, I probably would have just killed myself a long time ago because this country is tough.
But as tough as this country and its people are, I’m also a tough cookie and I never give up. If I set my mind to do something , regardless of what it is, I will get it done. The time for myself is gone. When you have kids, it’s not about you anymore, it becomes about the other lives that you have brought into this world. So, my main focus, my main goal is about my children and they have been my drive and my motivation from day one.